What life coaching is
I would say that around 9 out of 10 people that approach me to coach them have no actual plan for their lives. They are just going with the flow and in most cases following the path of least resistance. They are all very hard working people but they still find themselves with a feeling of dissatisfaction with their lives or a nagging feeling that life could be better.
For many it is a question of finding the right balance between all areas of life
Balancing Your Life
There are six main aspects of life that need to be considered. You need to spend enough time on each so that your life is fulfilling.
- Relationships (emotional)
- Family & Friends (social)
- Business (financial)
- Health (physical)
- Personal Growth - Education & Creativity (mental)
- Spirituality/Religion (spiritual)
Fulfilment
There are also six areas of life that you need to feel truly fulfilled. very often it is the last two in this list that are missing. It is too easy to become immersed in work or relationships and forget about yourself and what you can do for your community.
- Comfort & Certainty
- Variety & Excitement
- Love & Connection
- Recognition & Significance
- Contribution To Society
- Personal Growth & Development
One of the fundamental apsects of any life coaching is to make sure that all of these are well established.
Becoming Flexible and Open To Change
There are two enemies to any process of change:
Homoeostasis
The unwillingness or refusal to change. People who are stuck in one place and do not progress because they are afraid to test their boundaries or who feel too comfortable where they are.
Psychosclerosis
Having a hardened attitude. Dogmatic and inflexible. Not willing to change their mind. They have one way of doing something and that’s the way it is.
The Ten Psychological Laws of Achievement
Life Coaching Is Learning To Control These Laws
You can use all of these basics to reorganise your thinking and your life.
1. The Law of Belief
Whatever we believe with real emotion becomes our reality. If we change our beliefs then we can change our lives.
2. The Law of Expectation
What you confidently expect will happen to you will become a self fulfilling prophecy.
3. The law of Attraction
We atrract people into our lives that harmonize with our thoughts.
4. The Law of Concentration
Whatever we consciously dwell upon, grows on us. Focusing on anything with enough will behind it, concentrates the unconscious mind and changes how we view the world.
5. The Law of Substitution
The conscious mind can only concentrate on one thing at a time which can be either positive or negative. If you learn and practice keeping positive thoughts in your mind at all times you never open yourself up to self doubt, depression and other strong negative thoughts and emotions.
6. Law of Practice and Repetition
To develop a skill at anything, you must first learn how to do it, and then practice over and over gain until it becomes automatic. We go through the following 4 stages:
- Unconscious Incompetence - we don’t know how to do something and we never think about it
- Conscious Incompetence - we can do something but we know we are not very good
- Conscious Competence - we can do something and we have to concentrate to do it well
- Unconscious Competence - we know something so well that we just do it automatically
7. The Law of Relaxation
In all mental work, effort defeats itself. This is the opposite of the physical world where the more effort you put in, then the better the results. Do not try to make things happen too fast. Let your unconscious take control and learn to relax your mind.
8. Coue’s Law or The Law of Reversed Effect
When the will and the imagination come into conflict, the imagination always wins.
The classic example of this is ‘walking the plank’. If I was to place a rigid plank of wood on the floor and asked you to walk along it, you would have no problem doing so. If I then placed that plank with each end on a table and asked you to walk along it, you could probably do that too, though more carefully. If, finally, I placed that plank ten floors up across an alley between two buildings you probably wouldn’t even attempt it, though the task was the same.
9. The Law of Concentrated Attention.
When spontaneous attention is concentrated on an idea, the idea tends to realise itself.
10. The Law of Dominant Effect.
Attaching an emotion to a suggestion makes it more effective.
Life Coaching Part 1 - The Goal Setting DVD
We have just finished recording the first part of the life coaching course and will release the remaining sessions over the coming months. They are considerable cheaper than coming to live sessions and we do provide full email support so there is an element of live coaching included.